Car accident's

I've had my share of car accidents in my life. The first was several years ago I was sitting in the back seat of a car where I had just taken my seat belt off to change my shirt and right at that moment someone blow a red light and we got tea boned. Since I had no seat belt on my head slammed against the window hard. I went to the hospital where luckily they found out I just had bumps and bruises, thank god.
My second was Feb,14th,2006. My family and I where driving though a green light when a lady ran a red light and slammed into the side of us at 40 miles an hour. I will never forget the sound of the metal and glass breaking. My two boys where in the back, I'll never forget the look on there teary faces it will haunt me for forever. After we where all checked out at the hospital we all luckily left with bumps and bruises, thank god.
My third was the worst it happened 6 months later on sept, 3rd, 2006 at 12:00am. Julie and I where driving to get stuff to make smores. We where driving down a dark road when suddenly we saw headlights coming straight at us and like a flash of lighting the car slammed into us. The force was so hard.. After we hit it was completely silent I heard nothing it was so dark. I just sat there thinking that I was dead. I remember thinking this is how I'm going to die. I'd never see my family again. I even imagined my husband and boys finding out at the family reunion that I was gone. Suddenly I heard Julies voice, Jenny are you ok? I then realized it was so dark because my hands were clenched over my face. I looked around and realized I'd be ok but was in allot of pain. I noticed smoke from from the front of that car then I heard get her out! A man came running over and pulled hard to get my door open enough to pull me out. Julie and I sat on the curb waiting for paramedics to arrive. I realized I forgot my phone back at the house and could not call my mom since I had no clue what her number was i was just used to pushing 3 on my phone it was the most frighting time in my life and I just needed to be able to call my mom. It was the worst feeling knowing I could not. We used Julies phone to call Rick. He came to the scene and was shocked at the sight. One of the girls in the other vehicle was hurt really bad so it took awhile before we where put on a ambulance. Once we where on the ambulance we went from Molalla to Portland with the siren's blaring the hole time because of Julies stomach pain. When we got there they had us strapped to boards and exrayed all parts of our bodies. It took hours of us being there because it was labor day weekend and there where allot of seriously injured people. Julie and I bothy left the hospital with sever bumps and bruises but other than that we where ok, thank god! i finally got to leave and go see by boys which was the greatest moment to be able to see them again. Jordon looked at me and said he thought I was dead. This hurt my heart so bad and still does. The road to recovery was hard, I had broses all over my body. I was in pain 24 7. One day after the accident Jordon was to start first grade. I was in so much pain and it hurt so bad to even walk that my mom had to take him to school. I will never forget watching him leave with Grammy and knowing I'd be missing taking him to 1st grade for the first time. Luckily my mom took great pictures so that helped me a little. Nights after nights after the accident I'd wake up with horrible night mears reliving the crash over and over. Id even feel the force and the pain in my dreams. I became terrified to drive to even get in a car. This fear was so bad that I'd cry uncontrollably in the car even if it was a short drive. I began to live in fear in a daily basis. I did not want to go anywhere. I sure missed out on a lot because of the fear of having to drive in the dark or seeing headlights coming towards me. I'd even hold my breath as cars would go by us just waiting to be hit again. This fear two years later is still with me. I don't cry or go into a complete panic but I do become very afraid. It had limited me on where I drive to. I used to drive all over but now its a huge fear to even drive out of my town. Two years later we settled our case with our lawyer and I got what was a good settlement but trust me no amount of money could ever be enough to compensate what we went through. I got all my final paper work a few days ago from my layer saying my case is now closed. I'm looking forward to putting it all behind me and try to find forgiveness for the girl who put this masses fear in my life. Two years later and my knee which was slammed into the dash board is still in allot of pain. I can not kneel on it at all, even the slightest touch of my baby's hand touching it is painful. They say there is nothing that they can do. This has been the hardest thing for me to go though and I pray that one day I'll be able to drive without the overwhelming fear that every car is out to get me.